Help with an English exercise of redaction

Necesito estudiar ingles y la verdad es que no tengo mucho dinero ni tiempo para hacerlo entonces tengo que estudiar por mis propios medios.
Mi duda es la siguiente: I made an small redaction about football, but I think it has some mistakes. I will be grateful to you if you can help me to correct the mistakes.
The redaction is:
Football
I'm going to talk about football. It was originated in England.
To play football you need to be physically good and if you want to play it professionally you must train at least three or four times a week.
The rules of the game are: Two teams of eleven persons rival each other. The objective is to put a small ball into a rectangular form at the end of the of the stadium's ground.
In my city there are two football teams Estudiantes and Gimnasia. I am a fan of the first; sometimes I go to the stadium to see it.
Respuesta
1
Aqui lo tienes
The ESSAY is:
Football
I'm going to talk about football. It was originated in England.
To play football you need to be physically FIT and if you want to play it professionally you must train at least three or four times a week.
The rules of the game are: Two teams of eleven PLAYERS rival each other. The objective is to put a small ball into a rectangular form SITUATED at the EDGE of the of the stadium's grounds.
In my city there are two football teams: Estudiantes and Gimnasia. I am a fan of the first; sometimes I go to the stadium to see it.

11 respuestas más de otros expertos

Respuesta
1
Leí tu redacción y acá te la copio con las correcciones, haciéndola lo más parecida a lo que escribiste. Antes, quiero aclararte que hice algunas modificaciones en el texto, no porque estuviera mal, sino para que suene mejor, o tenga mejor vocabulario. También te puse entre paréntesis otras opciones que se me ocurrieron.
Football
I'm going to talk about football. It has its origins in England.
To play football you need to be physically well and if you want to play it professionally, you must train at least three or four times a week. (En vez de "play it professionaly" otra opción puede ser: become a professional footballer).
The rules of the game are:
-Two rival teams of eleven players are needed. (También podés dividir este item en dos, o poner dos oraciones en el mismo item, ya que por un lado se trata de dos equipos rivales, y por otro lado que cada uno está compuesto por once jugadores. Quedaría de la siguiente manera: -Two rival teams needed. -Each team must have eleven players).
-The objective is to win the contest by scoring goals. To do this, the players have to put the ball between two goalposts which are at the ends of the field. The winner is the team that scores the more goals.
There are two football teams in my city: Estudiantes and Gimnasia. I am a fan of the first one, and sometimes I go to the stadium to see it.
Bueno espero que te haya sido de ayuda! Suerte.
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To play football at a professional level, you need to be physically fit and train at least three or four times a week. The rules of the game are simple: two teams of eleven players compete against each other, trying to put a football into a rectangular goal at the end of the pitch

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